Horace’s Tall Tales

All of life has it’s lighter moments and show business is certainly no exception. From amidst a tug of his beloved Havana cigar smoke, from a copious supply sent to him by his grateful clients, Horace would regale his friends after dinner with tales such as these from very different eras:-

Around 1920, after a show at the Ayr Pavilion, the young Horace was given the chore of transporting a troupe
of Arabian acrobats back to Glasgow in a van for their next performance. Somewhere on the Fenwick Moor, he spotted a girl lying on the grass verge and naturally pulled up to investigate.  As he walked towards the ‘body’ three thugs appeared from behind the roadside bushes and pursued him back towards the van. However, seeing the situation, the troupe concealed inside commenced to pile out, stopping the incredulous bravos in their tracks. With the young ‘lady’ in the rear, they were last seen legging it over the heather.

Then, from twenty years later, came the better known incident when while leaving his office above Lauder’s Bar in Renfield Street, a ‘pro’, who had been ‘dining’ therein emerged and virtually fell at his feet. As the prostrate
gentleman’s pals began to gather round, Horace exclaimed “Give the chap air!”, whereupon with a grin the chap on the ground quipped “Could you no manage Dundee and Aberdeen as well?” We never did hear what followed…